Why is it important to think about and plan for death?

Feb 21, 2021 | Death & Dying

Why is it important to think about and plan for death?

Recently I asked these questions on my Instagram account.

What is your perception of death?
Where did this idea come from?
How have those ideas or perceptions of death influenced the way you deal with death and dying in your life?

We don’t spend much time, if any, in reflection around questions like those do we?  We don’t spend time with questions like those because most of us don’t know how to lean into difficult emotions.  We’d rather leave well enough alone.

When we don’t know how to be with our own intense emotions, we also don’t know how to be with other people’s intense emotions.  If we are not willing to face difficult emotions in either of these ways, we create a circle of non-compassion.  We can’t hold space for ourselves, we can’t hold space for our loved ones, and there’s no one to hold space for us either.  So what happens when we can’t facing intense emotions around death and dying?

If I was with you right now, I would ask you if you have experienced death in a sacred or healing way.  I would also ask you if you have experienced death in a way that induced negative feelings, frustration, anger, or even trauma.

We all have personal stories that lead to how we feel about death and dying.  Much of that comes from our families, our communities, and our culture.  If we don’t take time to form our own thoughts around death then someone else will do it for us, and it might not be what we want to adopt.  The same is true for life.  That’s how we end up going through life wishing we had lived a life that was true to ourselves and no the life others have created for us.

Does that resonate with you?  It sure does to me.  I’m guessing it resonates with a lot of people.  That’s probably why Bronnie Ware writes that as one of The Top 5 Regrets of the Dying.  “I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.”

That is why it’s also SO important to do the work of learning to be with intense emotions around death and dying.  We don’t want to come to the end of our life and realize that we didn’t have the courage to think about and plan for the way we want to die.

Robert Thurman brings it all together for us when he said “As living human beings, the most rewarding purpose of our lives is to awaken to our deepest reality, to unfold our most powerful energies of love and compassion.  The study and preparation for death may be the greatest opportunity towards learning to live a fuller life.”

100% of us are going to die.  Only 25% plan for it.  Where will you fall in those statistics? 

The next group gathering for Best Three Months starts March 18th.  Best Three Months is a 7-week journey of guided self-discovery of acknowledging what matters most.  It a facilitated experience that helps you gain a deeper perspective on death and dying as well as helps you create a plan stating your end of life wishes.

All are welcome, but space is limited to 11 people.   You can find out more about it HERE.

Grace & Peace,

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